August 26th is the day! I will officially be a year older and so much has changed since my last birthday! I'm in a completely different state (I moved to Mississippi ya'll lol) and I began my doctorate program in Higher Education Administration to name a few. This past year has been exciting, scary, sad, joyful and stressful at times. Let's just say it's been an interesting ride and many things were revealed to me as I spent most of my time reflecting and growing closer to Jesus.
I made changes in my life prior to my 23rd birthday because some changes had to take place. I had highs and lows and I knew in my heart I was not fulfilling God's purpose and plan for me. For my 23rd birthday I bought a Life Application Study bible and got serious about studying God's word and I finally placed all my energy into pursuing a relationship with him instead of a guy. Now don't get me wrong, prior to this I prayed, I read scriptures here and there, I went to church and I tweeted "Thank you Lord etc." but I was not intimate with him. I didn't "Know" him. Now I look back on situations and I can see God's hands all over it, but at the time I didn't. You'll hear me say over and over again, "He was looking out for me long before I gave him my heart." That's comforting to me. He knew that although I was not where I needed to be personally, spiritually or professionally at that time that one day I would be completely in love with him and growing as a young woman. That's why we should never be so quick to judge someone even if they are a train wreck waiting to happen. Their today is not necessarily their tomorrow. On Monday they may be okay settling and making wrong decisions but on Wednesday afternoon they may make those necessary changes. How you treat them during those train wreck moments can make a difference in who they become. Other times, it may take them hitting rock bottom before change takes place (This is usually the hardest to recover from) However, as the authors of the book "Kingdom woman" tell us (Tony Evans and Crystal Hurst) "Sometimes God allows situations that only he can fix, so that you will KNOW he is the one who fixed it."
Have you ever had a situation where you thought to yourself, " There is no way I can recover. Why even bother? I can't change. This is me. This is what I do. I'm always getting hurt or making mistakes. I have the worst luck/life ever. My heart will never be the same. I will never trust or laugh again?" I've been there. Honestly, at times I still find myself there. It's in those situations that God can truly reveal himself to you if you simply surrender. That's the thing you know. People always say, "Don't worry, God can fix it. Have faith etc." but what we fail to recognize is that we have to place ourselves in a position for him to work and do his thing. We need to SURRENDER. It's like we are drowning and gasping for air half the time but we refuse to let go of the things pulling us under. If we would just let it go. If only.
I started letting go of some things slowly but surely for the past two years. I had to learn to let go of some people, some activities, a usual way of thinking and how I viewed the world. When I blew out my candles on my birthday cake a year ago (my sister hooked me up. love her!!) I didn't make a wish, I said a prayer. I asked God to continue to reveal himself to me and make me over. I needed a complete transformation. I didn't need to make over my appearance or hair (even though I changed that often as well lol don't judge), but my heart, my mind and who I was as a young woman. I knew that if I was going to achieve all I wanted to and if I wanted to be a wife, mother and a respected professional I needed to be, think and act better. Was I a horrible person? I don't think so although some may disagree but I wasn't trying to be average or just good. I wanted to be Christ like and virtuous. I read Proverbs 31 many times, studied Ruth, Esther, Hannah, Deborah, and Mary (both of them)but most importantly, Jesus. I encourage any woman who is on a journey of walking in God's purpose to study their lives. Don't just read, but make notes and look for areas in your life where you could begin applying the same principles. The christian life is not simply a destination. It's more than accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.. It's a way of LIVING. It's DOING. It's LOVING. It gives.
So now that I am turning 24 what have I learned? I've learned that living a life that pleases God is not always easy. I've learned so much about myself after removing certain things that it's semi scary. (trust me when you surrender, some things are revealed to you. it's as if your rose colored glasses slowly come off). I've learned that regardless of the changes you make some people will STILL see the old you and test you. But as James said, consider it pure joy when you face trials. The testing of your faith will produce perseverance. I also learned that not everyone who throws some scriptures around truly knows God or desires to know him. Hence why discernment and wisdom is so important. It's okay to laugh, dress nicely and still love Jesus.
As I said, major changes this 24th birthday! I never expected to move to Mississippi of all places. It's exciting to imagine what my life would be like next birthday. It is a little scary. Not knowing how things could be is frightening. But one thing I do know is that when I draw near to God, he comes closer to me as well and knowing that gives me peace.
Looking forward to what age 24 has in store!!!!!
Be blessed!
