He wrote a brief version of how we met and became a couple and although the story is basically the same; I wanted to share my version. I moved to Mississippi in August 2013 to pursue a PhD. The PhD was always the plan, but Mississippi was not. I had no interest in moving here. I remember thinking, "Lord really? Mississippi? What's in Mississippi? I'm really going to be single for the rest of my life, but your will be done!" I had given up on guys and relationships after a few unsuccessful and dysfunctional ones and I was honestly growing in my relationship with the Lord. So that was my focus!
So I got here and went to a Pinky Promise meet and greet and met some amazing women! Eboni organized it and I'm so happy she obeyed God and did just that. She is friends with Micah and he saw pictures we took that day. Apparently he began following me on Instagram that same day, but I honestly don't remember.A few months later, he liked a picture I posted on Instagram and I went to his page when I received the notification to see who this person was. Scrolled through his timeline, saw a few selfies, friends, and a whole lotta Jesus :) so i clicked the follow button because I could see that he posted quite a few encouraging and convicting posts about God's word etc.
We began talking here and there on Instagram, then InstaDM about scripture and sermons. There was no flirting, no compliments, nada. It was the first time I experienced a guy talking to me without ever mentioning how I looked, or asking to take me out/meet up. We spoke about sermons and Jesus. I never heard God say "this is the one" or anything like that, but I do recall being intrigued because he felt so different and the conversations he was interested in having. I truly felt like he cared about my spiritual growth as a friend. Late December/early January I noticed that he was messaging me a bit more on instadm and at this point I looked forward to hearing from him. So I gave him my number.
Yes I did lol. Honestly, I was sick and tired of using InstaDm and I had some weirdos messaging me on the app so I wanted to delete it. We immediately transitioned to texting and later on he asked if we could meet for the first time. I felt peace about the meeting and said "sure". I remember praying before meeting him and asking God to be in the midst. I really wanted to do things differently and to please him. That first time we met we spoke for 4 hours with no awkward silences. It was amazing! The next week we had our real first date (dinner) and moved forward from there. Throughout this time we are talking (a lot) and prior to making it official he asked me to list the things that concerned me about us moving forward in a courtship. I was blown away. Who is this man Lord? Guys do these things? LOL I wrote my list, he wrote his, we talked about it, resolved any concerns etc. and agreed that we were ready for the next step!
These past 11 months have not been easy by any means. We've had arguments, we've cried, we've been stressed, and cried out to God through it all. Relationships are work, however if two people are truly committed to something bigger than themselves it can and will work. We were both committed to Christ (still committed). We chose to love each other in those moments where one of us was unlovable because of our love for God. We are not perfect. Far from it. We need God's grace, love, and forgiveness daily, but we are committed to HIM and then to each other. He is and will always be first.
I want to encourage ladies who may be reading this. The goal is not to find somebody like Micah, somebody like Tom, or Kyle, or whoever else. The goal should always be getting closer to God and growing in him. If you desire to be married, then the only thing you should desire is a man after God's own heart who loves him and who loves you. Don't copy others or try to turn someone you like into somebody else. God is an amazing Creator. He needs no help in that department.
Lastly, I want to stress that Micah pursued me. We did not pursue each other and I definitely did not pursue him. I know people may say we are in 2015 and all that, but I'm not buying all that because the one time I did something different, the results changed (keepin' it real). I did not call him or text him first. I never asked him out. I did not tell him he was handsome or that I liked him. I did not let him know that I was intrigued by his conversations either. It's not about lying or playing games. It's about guarding your heart and talking to God about how you feel. I was so focused on guarding my heart that Micah waited for quite some time to even get a hug from me. After our first real date, I just said thank you so much and waved goodbye. I wanted no emotional attachment whatsoever because I had no idea how this was going to turn out. Your job during that getting to know each other phase is to observe him. Listen to him. Is he simply talking the talk? Or is he actually living it.
Observe how he treats you and what he talks about the most as well. Micah did not want me emotionally attached to him either. As I said, there were no pet names, telling me I was beautiful or intimacy (that could mean deep secrets or physically as well), so he helped the process. He literally prayed before speaking to me or doing anything because he said he did not want to mess my life up or break my heart if he truly was not ready. That's beyond attractive to me. To think that prior to loving me, he was still loving me and protecting my heart. I want everyone who desires that to experience that, but it will mean letting some things go and doing some things differently.
I can't wait to marry my best friend and continue this journey God has graced us with...good times and bad. Thanks for the well wishes everyone
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